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Dust off and dive in. - Am I asking too much...to keep you at arm's length? [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Dust off and dive in. [Sep. 8th, 2010|05:36 pm]
If I can, I shall try to avoid ever doing this again. I wish I could come up with some sort of fond farewell, but the truth is that I don't leave this as I think I would have liked to. I would have liked to have seen some sort of improvement, but there hasn't been any in any aspect. I have all the same complaints that I've had all my life and I'm still the very same person, deep down. I'm almost thirty and I still get that feeling when I see someone from my past and I can almost taste the shame that I can't seem to lose. There's no need for it. How cool is cool, anyway? I sound like a very bitter loser, I know, but seriously. When I think of the kind of people that I want to surround myself with, I think kind and trustworthy and considerate. I think that makes up a pretty cool person and how much cooler do you want? Fire eaters? Country-club pinkies? I know what I want and I know what I'm not and for the very first time ever -

Fuck you and your red hair. (As politely as possible, of course.)

I did not intend for this to turn into some frustrating entry, but that kind of shit really bothers me. Anyway, I just wanted to say that although this will be gone soon, and gone for good, I'm about to give birth and I need something to rely on. I find myself on my own, but I am not alone. Thank goodness.