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The risk of being honest in the wee hours of the morning. - Am I asking too much...to keep you at arm's length? [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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The risk of being honest in the wee hours of the morning. [Apr. 6th, 2008|03:19 am]
I had a dream in which I had a lot of attitude. I've had many dreams. Most end in catastrophe. Meaning you meet me with a vengeance. On most nights. There was one that differed. It was like a song. Tell me why you lied. Please. Running into arms. My hand on the back of your neck. Kiss me. If you don't, this will never go. Because it's easy. Because it's all we know. You do. Despite my greatest efforts, all was right between you and I. In that dream. It was us and us alone. I slept for just over a couple of hours on this particular night. Then I woke. The lifetime that had passed in my head. The lifetime that I would not be a part of. It all emphasized how cold everything was. My room. My bed. My feet. My face. And I could have died out of sheer longing for one particular person. Then I decided not to. As if I could will the act itself. What to do? Oh! what to do? The only thing I can do is continue with plans. Even that seems like false security. I can see my life out of this state. I can see my life with another. I can see almost anything. But. Not even in my wildest dreams do I see my heart not beating for you. And I have nothing or no one to blame for that. Save my arrogance. Save myself.